What’s the difference between being in charge and having genuine authority? What’s the difference between being “the leader” and exercising leadership? If you can answer these questions for yourself and live in light of your answer, you will discover that you have both more capacity and more influence than you probably ever imagined. You will find that you can accomplish more than you may realize, and feel pretty good about it as well! All of which brings to mind Alexander Haig, former U.S. Secretary of State.
Yes, I am dating myself – and perhaps you, dear reader, as well – but whether this is a story you remember well, or one about which you are learning for the first time, it’s a story worth watching for the 63 seconds recorded here:
Mr. Secretary got himself into a world of trouble for those comments, not to mention providing plenty of material for comedians spoofing his misdirected assertion of control, however well-intentioned it may have been. No question, it was certainly a moment when claiming to be the leader instead of exercising genuine leadership led to a less than happy outcome.
In that instance, the question about who’s in charge was a fairly straightforward one – one which could have, and should have, been answered in an equally straightforward way. But because Mr. Haig chose to assert control, rather than demonstrate real leadership, he failed to achieve either, which is so often the case.
Standing at that podium, Haig had the opportunity to demonstrate real authority – to be a person seen as providing trustworthy information about an unfolding crisis, and be a person to whom others could look for guidance. He had the opportunity to exercise genuine leadership: the use of whatever capacities he authentically possessed to help others achieve their goals. But neither demonstrating authority and excercising trustworthy leadership required the assertion of control he made. Think about it, the individual qualities of “being the leader” and “being in charge” may be zero sum, neither authority nor leadership are.
Of course, any of us – at different points in our lives, and for some, virtually every day -? can be a lot like Alexander Haig at that microphone. Faced with a crisis or problem, you can assess your choices based on your need to grab control and power. Or you can ask yourself a far more important question:
“Given the situation in which I find myself, what skills, wisdom or talent can I contribute that will serve others who share this situation?”
That’s a question we can all ask ourselves in pretty much any situation; it invites the exercise of real leadership, regardless of position or office. Imagine how Haig would have addressed the press were that the animating question he brought to the mic. Imagine if you did the same.
In some traditions, this is called “servant leadership”; in others it is called “service leadership” or “agency.” Whatever label you give it, the shift from asking “Who’s in charge?” to asking “What can I contribute?” unlocks amazing capacities in each of us, not mention in others – both those we lead and those we follow, who at times, may even be the exact same people.

Listed for many years in Newsweek as one of America’s “50 Most Influential Rabbis” and recognized as one of our nation’s leading “Preachers and Teachers,” by Beliefnet.com, Rabbi Brad Hirschfield serves as the President of Clal–The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, a training institute, think tank, and resource center nurturing religious and intellectual pluralism within the Jewish community, and the wider world, preparing people to meet the biggest challenges we face in our increasingly polarized world.
An ordained Orthodox rabbi who studied for his PhD and taught at The Jewish Theological Seminary, he has also taught the University of Pennsylvania, where he directs an ongoing seminar, and American Jewish University. Rabbi Brad regularly teaches and consults for the US Army and United States Department of Defense, religious organizations — Jewish and Christian — including United Seminary (Methodist), Yeshivat Chovevei Torah (Modern Orthodox) Luther Seminary (Lutheran), and The Jewish Theological Seminary (Conservative) — civic organizations including No Labels, Odyssey Impact, and The Aspen Institute, numerous Jewish Federations, and a variety of communal and family foundations.
Hirschfield is the author and editor of numerous books, including You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism, writes a column for Religion News Service, and appears regularly on TV and radio in outlets ranging from The Washington Post to Fox News Channel. He is also the founder of the Stand and See Fellowship, which brings hundreds of Christian religious leaders to Israel, preparing them to address the increasing polarization around Middle East issues — and really all currently polarizing issues at home and abroad — with six words, “It’s more complicated than we know.”