How often have you wished for a “do-over”? You know what I mean. You make a decision or follow a path, and it doesn’t play out as you hoped and planned. I know, in many ways that’s the definition of life, and making the best of that reality is really important.
Sometimes though, we don’t want to make the best of what is, we want to roll back the tape of our lives and start again – we want a do over, and what’s wrong with that? Actually nothing at all. In fact, we begin life with an innate sense that we are all entitled to at least the occasional do over.
Think back to your childhood. Remember playing games that were all about having do-overs? It didn’t make the game any less fun, but at some point, kids started calling “no do-overs” – no second chances, and that was how we began to play. Why? We were growing up, and do-overs felt “babyish.”
We all need and deserve a second chance, a do-over, from time to time.
In truth, we were growing up. We were learning an important lesson about life: there are not always second chances. But that doesn’t mean there never should be. Perhaps that’s the next level in our evolution as humans – recognizing that we all need and deserve a second chance, a do-over, from time to time.
Without pretending that you can hit “Reset” on your entire life – you can’t – think about one area where you’d really like to activate that button and take a do-over. You almost certainly can.
It might take time to pull off the re-setting you long for, but hit the button and begin. In fact, one way to make this easier and to see quicker results (who doesn’t like quicker results, after all?) is to think about your life as having three different re-set buttons, and planning three do-overs for yourself: one short term, one longer term and one really long term.
1. One short-term do-over: How short is short-term? This week. Where is there something you can start over this week? Where can you roll back what’s happening in your life so that in the next seven days you’ll feel the gratification of having a do-over? It need not be something big. It may be that nobody but you knows what has occurred. It doesn’t matter. Try it, and feel the huge impact of even little do-overs.
2. One longer-term do-over: Now that you’ve found your reset button, try thinking a little bigger. Where would you like to hit that reset button regarding something that may take a year or more to pull off? It might even take more than a year, but just remember, you came into this world knowing that do-overs were possible, so why not this one?
3. One really long-term do-over: And if you’re feeling really bold, try imagining a do-over that would be a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. In fact, this is something so big, that you know it may never happen. But even if it doesn’t, the dream that it might can remind you that do-overs are a part of life, and you’re certainly entitled to your share. Don’t forget, you also have the power of giving do-overs to others, as well.
Listed for many years in Newsweek as one of America’s “50 Most Influential Rabbis” and recognized as one of our nation’s leading “Preachers and Teachers,” by Beliefnet.com, Rabbi Brad Hirschfield serves as the President of Clal–The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, a training institute, think tank, and resource center nurturing religious and intellectual pluralism within the Jewish community, and the wider world, preparing people to meet the biggest challenges we face in our increasingly polarized world.
An ordained Orthodox rabbi who studied for his PhD and taught at The Jewish Theological Seminary, he has also taught the University of Pennsylvania, where he directs an ongoing seminar, and American Jewish University. Rabbi Brad regularly teaches and consults for the US Army and United States Department of Defense, religious organizations — Jewish and Christian — including United Seminary (Methodist), Yeshivat Chovevei Torah (Modern Orthodox) Luther Seminary (Lutheran), and The Jewish Theological Seminary (Conservative) — civic organizations including No Labels, Odyssey Impact, and The Aspen Institute, numerous Jewish Federations, and a variety of communal and family foundations.
Hirschfield is the author and editor of numerous books, including You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism, writes a column for Religion News Service, and appears regularly on TV and radio in outlets ranging from The Washington Post to Fox News Channel. He is also the founder of the Stand and See Fellowship, which brings hundreds of Christian religious leaders to Israel, preparing them to address the increasing polarization around Middle East issues — and really all currently polarizing issues at home and abroad — with six words, “It’s more complicated than we know.”